How to control your anger wherever you are? Five aspects of controlling it!
I was in one organisation few days back and I was waiting at the reception for the CEO's meeting to get over as I had an appointment with him that day for some official work. While I was sitting there at the reception...I happened to observe one incident where one vendor had come to collect the cheque for the service provided and he was told that cheque it not ready and he will require to visit the organisation again in the next week. The moment the vendor got to know that he is not getting the payment, he called up his office and informed accordingly. While talking over the phone, I could make out that the boss of him was furious and was scolding him like anything where it was not that person's fault but still patiently he was listening to him and then after keeping the phone down, he silently but with lot of stress mentioned at the reception that in the next week if it will not be ready then we may require to levy you an interest amount and my boss will send the mail to your accounts department immediately after observing the scenario and he went off.
The above was not a very serious incident but looking at the face of the vendor and the conversation he had with his boss, he seemed like a victim where unnecessarily he had to bear the scolding from his boss. He was angry but with a great control he could depict that at the reception even after experiencing the mistake of the organisation not handing over the payment. However that simple scenario made me think about it and accordingly my thinking tank got activated tremendously to extend the thought process in such a manner where how someone can really control the anger. Anger management in present conditions makes lot of sense because of high competitiveness and accordingly the pressure under which we all have been working in the professional world!
I could recollect those days when I was working in the organisation in finance department and how I used to deal with my anger. Yes...there were few loopholes which I wanted to work on but gradually I had seen improvement. Over the years, I have revealed that ANGER has five aspects by which it can be controlled. In the current trend of the industrial world, we can surely imagine what pressure these executive people like CEOs, CFOs. CTOs and COOs must be managing and what they must be doing when tremendous work pressure invade them!!!
Controlling anger is like having control on your spending on unnecessary things....controlling your diet if it is getting excessive! And yes...it is very much possible! Our subconscious is invisible but is very powerful in storing things which our mind desires for and at appropriate time, it pops up to fulfil those desires but rapid conversion of audio-visual facts and circumstances into a calm moment is something to take a challenge for! I started practising to control my anger by keeping myself in solitude for some time and draining out all those negative aspects which have been saturated in my subconscious by speaking to myself or at times, sharing the same with someone who can tolerate you with his/her patient listening skills! At the same time, I felt that even our vision can also be automatically get set like a machine after few rounds of practice where we can change the mode of our mindfulness whenever there is an opportunity cost of anger which may increase situation wise.
Five aspect to automate process of controlling anger-
Accuracy in sensing surroundings and be aware of the same- Many times when we get angry we tend to forget about the surroundings and people around us and that is where if we have accurate understanding of the same then things would definitely be fine and we can surely sense the atmospheric mood while dealing with people. In professional world predominantly this helps us a lot because everything depends upon our demeanour in the organisation and it affects or effects our appraisal (KRAs). Here the anger management is crucial to control with.
Nourishment of our weak areas of behaviour and try to change the pattern- If we love ourselves but at the same time if we know our weak areas while finding ourselves and our own path, then things would surely suffice the way they are expected. Each coin has two sides and many times we ignore our negatives simply by saying that every person has negatives! However this is where one has to work a bit more because of the complexity of mind God has given to everyone. Sometimes we may require to do some superficial changes in our personality because of the professional commitments we give to the organisations we are working in. Here continuously working on our weak areas helps us to grow properly at work places. Here at personal level we have to work rigorously by opting for some cosmic/spiritual medium of anger management techniques where results can be better although not up to the mark.
Glorify our potentials to the extent possible- If we know who we are and for what purpose we are living, then this basic philosophical question many times solves the issue. If we know our abilities and capacity areas where we can give our best always....anger management can easily remain at a minimal level. Also finding out potentials of your own; is not sufficient but working on them in such a manner where you will glorify the same to the extent possible where you will not have frustration at all at every step of life even though tensions will pester you. Here one has to take care that at any point of time, do not get pampered by the people around because that causes danger for sure as far as your behavioural occurrences are concerned.
Eliminating unnecessary elements of our personality- When we work closely with people in organisations, our minute things can be observed and then criticising them becomes vital where one has a responsibility of eliminating those unnecessary elements of personality. For e.g. many times we work in a team and as a usual habit sometimes, our weaknesses of the personality get aggravated and it can cause tremendous loss to our own self and the people around. Some person may have a usual habit of playing with some instruments by taking them in hands or some people may have a habit of slouching/fidgeting which can put a bad impression. By having considered such habits then our small weaknesses can be magnified in such a way where our anger may get increased in such cases and that is why we must try to eliminate such unnecessary elements of our personality. Rationalising approach of detachment- To avoid any misunderstanding or furious situations we must have a positive/rational approach at every point of time. Here also law of detachment makes lot of sense. And we can do this. While working in organisations, we should keep our habits in such a manner where project wise our vision will get detached at the right time due to which our position will remain intact and we will get fair justice to our contribution for the project and at the same time,getting detached from the same will take us ahead to think about next innovation! Also giving up few things...by thinking about positives of forthcoming situations helps us to configure our approach quite well. Also it improves the efficiency of the team and the whole organisation thereto. At personal level, to become stress free law of detachment with rational approach will help us a lot because at personal level we become insecure at times and infrequent solutions on this might cause a big loss. Hence rational approach in every moment can keep us motivated where it in turn helps us to get attached to law of detachment and accordingly keep our anger in control.
So friends, this is the most killing enemy of one's life and we want to become victims of this or we want to set us free by not attaching ourselves to ANGER; can be a thoughtful process to follow for now. Thank you and Salute to all existences on this earth without having anger, envy, rudeness, ruthlessness, revengeful feeling etc.
Best Regards, Amit Life Balance Coach Master Spirit Life Coach Affiliate member of CCA, Canada Professional Musician www.soulomkar.com